For Her
by gigi2690
Summary: Alex is kidnapped right in front of Olivia's eyes. Olivia struggles to find her as Alex fights for survival. If you don't like slash...this isn't for you. Rated M for final chapter
1. Chapter 1

Alex sighed as she gazed longingly into the bottom of her glass, hoping it would magically refill and safe her from having to acknowledge her failure. Glancing at her desk shrouded with manila files containing heart wrenching stories, she let out a sigh. _'Why do I keep doing this?' _She wondered to herself as if she didn't already know. She did it for her. She did it for the conversations, the glances, the touches and most of all; the look in her eyes when she won a case. When she looked at her after a successful trial, her crooked smile and expression which said, 'One_ down a million more to go.' _She did it for her and the object of all this was completely oblivious.

Well maybe not completely, there were times when she swore she caught her looking at her legs. She wore those skirts in hopes of just that. Times when in the middle of a legal debate she would look up into her eyes and drown in the dark depths of those orbs. They would grow so dark the pupils would become undistinguishable…and then like that the moment was over and Alex was once again left confused and unsatisfied.

In a burst of frustration, both of fatigue and that of a more sexual primal nature, she flung off her glasses and tossed them into the ocean of beige. A voice penetrated Alex's silent reverie,

"Careful, I like those glasses." Alex looked up into the dark eyes she daydreamed about on numerous occasions,

"Liv." For a moment Alex found herself looking at Olivia mouth agape, _'Why does she torture me with those tight dress shirts. Doesn't she realize how the buttons are screaming to be freed? Get a grip Alexandra; she is expecting some sort of intelligible response.'_

"What are you doing here so late? It is…" Alex glanced at her watch, "1 am?" She didn't mean for it to come out as a question but she honestly had no idea it had gotten so late. She had been in her trance for 4 hours. Olivia smirked at the ADA,

"Glad you learned how to tell time with that fancy education of yours."

It took all of Alex's austere upbringing to quash the blush that threatened to invade her pale features,

"They did; so what's your excuse?" Alex silently congratulated herself on regaining her wit.

"I saw your light on and wondered if you wanted to get a drink to drown away our loss but," she glanced down at the empty glass in front of Alex, "it seems you started without me." Alex was tempted to ask why she was in the building in the first place but refrained knowing that the chance for one-on-one time was rare with Olivia.

"I could use another." She replied trying to look nonchalant by answering concomitantly and shrugging her shoulders.

"Yeah, I know. Grab your jacket I know just the place." Alex's heart stopped as that infamous crooked grin floated across Olivia's beautiful face,

"A cop bar?" Alex asked not really expecting an answer; on the rare occasions she was invited along with the squad it was always a cop bar.

"Nah, I have something else in mind." Olivia winked and with a smile she turned on her heels and left the dim office. Alex found herself jumping up and rushing to catch up, but not before grabbing her glasses, Olivia liked them after all.

Olivia glanced back at Alex's lithe form struggling to catch up in her high heels and skirt. _'Fuck. Make that a tight short black skirt.'_ Olivia silently thanked some higher power that Alex hadn't been in court in that. In their current case Alex was up against Trevor Langdon, and if she saw him eying her one more time…how long would they put you away for killing scum? Olivia mentally slapped herself, _'She's not yours to be protective of.'_ She tried not to look longing when Alex caught up with her,

"So where are we going?" Alex looked both amused and curious, but her expression clouded when she looked up at Olivia's face, "What's wrong?" Alex's concerned voice did nothing to ease Olivia's pain. 'You're straight.' The words were on the tip of her tongue but she promptly swallowed them,

"Nothing. You fancy a midnight walk?" Alex smirked,

"Then I think you came into my office an hour too late." Olivia laughed and shook her head,

"Well aren't you cheeky?" She nudged Alex's side with her elbow and relished the touch. They were walking close enough for Olivia to smell her. Alex smelt of lily and… whisky? Who knew the prim and proper socialite was a whisky drinker. Maybe there was more to the blond that met the eye, _'not that what met the eye wasn't plenty.' _Olivia unconsciously let out another small laugh which caused Alex's head to whip around and face hers,

"What pray tell do you find so entertaining?" Olivia couldn't stop her words fast enough this time,

"Whisky." Alex wasn't able to quash the blush this time and Olivia's heart stopped at the realization that she could in fact become more beautiful. Vulnerability with Alex was rare and Olivia treasured it.

"My father would drink whisky and I would sneak into the liquor cabinet when I was younger. Once you develop the palate for it…" Alex drifted off with a far away look in her eyes. Olivia realized that this was one of the few details she now knew about Alex's past, and it was one that portrayed her as a bad girl. Olivia's eyebrows rose and her mouth hung open, _'Why is it my motor skills malfunction around her?' _Apparently the same did not apply for Alex as she quickly reached out and closed her mouth for her. Alex's fingers lingered almost for a second on her lips and Olivia felt the desire to lick them. Her leather jacket now felt entirely too hot.

"You still haven't told me where we're going?" _'And the moment is over.' _Olivia sighed and looked into the impossibly blue orbs that were Alex Cabot,

"Can't you just enjoy the ride and be surprised?" Alex shook her head stubbornly,

"No. Why do you think I am a lawyer?" Olivia decided it was her turn to be cheeky,

"To be stubborn, bossy and get what you want?" To Olivia's surprise Alex merely nodded and broke into a wide grin,

"Exactly." They had both stopped walking and were now gazing into each other's eyes. Something had been finally conveyed between them. Olivia now looked into the counselor's eyes and was surprised to see them darkened with desire. She decided that she had waited long enough. Slowly leaning in, she saw Alex do the same and…

SCREECH. Tires squealed and the two of them were shaken from their stupor. Olivia's eyes widened as she saw Alex yanked back by a pair of strong arms and a gun placed firmly beneath her jaw. Her slight stature was swallowed by her large captor. Olivia went to draw her gun but was halted by a malicious voice,

"Nuh-uh-uh, Detective. That is if you want this lovely lady's face to remain that way." Olivia recognized the voice, her head jerked up and she looked into the cold eyes of Matthew Rasmussen. He was the husband of the woman who had been raped and murdered. The victim of the case they had just lost.

"Matthew, think about what you are doing." Matthew laughed,

"I have thought about it. The police did their job; they found the bastard responsible, and then Cabot here got them off." The arm placed around Alex's waist tightened and a pained expression flittered across her ashen face. _'He could probably snap her in two. Damn her for being so thin.' _

"Why are you blaming her? Why not the man responsible, or the defense attorney, or the judge, or the jury?" Olivia's voice hitched against her will as she heard Alex let out an involuntary whimper. She had wanted to hear that for a long time but not like this. Matthew didn't even hesitate; he had clearly thought this through.

"She needs to be stopped so she doesn't screw up any more lives. It's her fault and she is going to pay for it." Olivia could feel her heart breaking as Matt backed up to the car with Alex in tow. Alex forced her to look at her,

"It's okay. Remember, why I became a lawyer?" Alex's voice was small but strong. Olivia's expression was blank for a moment before it dawned on her, _'To be stubborn, bossy and get what she wants.'_ In Alex's own way she was telling her that she would fight like hell, but Matthew had 5 inches and at least a hundred pounds on her so this wasn't much comfort. In a flash Alex was shoved into the car and they sped off. Olivia fell to her knees as it began to rain; washing away the smell of lilies, whisky, and Alex. _'Alex.'_

A telephone was ringing. No, Alex reconsidered, it was just her ears. She fought to open her eyes but was alarmed to find her body did not obey her. Instead she did a mental check on what she could grasp of her condition. She knew she had a throbbing headache and ringing in her ears, the bastard must have hit her in the head with something. She could also feel something restraining her arms and legs. Her arms were bound behind her and her legs were bound to two separate posts. After exerting more effort required than a grueling day in court with Petrovsky, Alex finally managed to open her eyes. Not that it helped much. The room she was in was utterly dark, _'Well at least I am alone for now.'_

Alex looked down at herself and squinted, apparently she was tied to a chair. Blowing her hair from her eyes she let out a sigh. She had been so close to kissing Olivia, _'Figures one of us would end up being kidnapped by a psycho. Fate really hates me.' _Suddenly Alex remembered, Matthew Rasmussen. She was currently being held by a man with nothing to lose, and that didn't bode well for her.

_'You're a lawyer not a helpless civilian.'_ Mentally scolding herself she began to nudge her chair. No sooner than the chair made its first hop off the ground did a voice halt her efforts,

"I wouldn't do that." Apparently she was not alone as she had previously assumed. Straining to see through the gloom, Alex struggled to find the source to the voice, if only to grant herself some false sense of security. Alex cleared her throat and prayed that her court abilities would keep her voice steady,

"Well you have caught me, Mr. Rasmussen. Congratulations, now what may I inquire do you plan on doing now?" Although she tried to sound indifferent a hint of fear laced her words. Alex prayed that he would not pick up on it, but as she already acknowledged, _'Fate hates me.' _

"We are going to get to know each other. Well, I am going to get to know you." Alex shuddered at the vindictiveness of his words,

"And why would you want to do that?" Alex wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know the answer to this question. Finally her eyes had adjusted to the light and she could see his silhouette. She could also see the confines of her hell. It was a tiny room with no windows and no furniture except for the chair she sat on and a bare mattress in the corner. _'Fuck.'_ She shuddered at the sight of the mattress and Matthew laughed,

"Not yet sweetheart. I never sleep with a girl without knowing a little about them. Now why did you become a lawyer? Obviously you told the detective." Alex shivered; she didn't feel like sharing that with him, it was intended to be just between the two of them.

"To seek justice." She never even saw the blow coming as her head was violently thrown to the side by an abrupt slap to the face. Alex's vision clouded over in pain as she felt the left side of her face throb agonizingly.

"Liar. You didn't get justice for my wife." Alex fought to speak again but the first two times she opened her mouth all that came out were moans,

"I tried to convict her killer but we didn't have a strong enough case." The next blow wasn't entirely unexpected but her ribs ached in protest nonetheless. The chair was forced back a few inches and the sound of the wood scraping against the concrete was more excruciating than nails on a chalkboard. Matthew's fist remained clenched in her abdomen as he spoke again,

"Wrong again bitch. Now, why did you become a lawyer?" Alex was afraid but her pride was even stronger,

"Fuck off." Alex took comfort in that the words were more akin to Olivia than to herself. It was as if for an instant she was there with her. Not that this eased the pain of another fist to the ribs. This time Alex heard a distinct crack. Alex bit down on her lip to stop the yelp of anguish that threatened to come out. Alex could now taste the metallic flavor of blood in her mouth.

"Are all lawyers this forthcoming?" His sarcasm did nothing to deter her stubbornness. Alex still refused to tell him the truth but understood that she had to have a selfish reason to satisfy him,

"Power." The word seemed hollow, but the fist was slowly removed from her stomach indicating that she had given him what he wanted. Blinking quickly Alex fought the tears from spilling down her face; she wouldn't give him that satisfaction. Matthew placed each hand on one of Alex's thighs stopping her squirming with a harsh squeeze,

"Now I have some arrangements to attend to, my wife's funeral and all. Don't worry," his hands tightened on her thighs, "I'll be back later." And with that he stood up and kicked her chair over. Alex heard him walk away snickering. As Alex's head hit the concrete she fumbled to grasp one last coherent thought, _'Olivia please. Please find me.'_ As darkness overtook her, she had no idea as to the extent said Detective Olivia Benson was, in fact, trying to do just that.


	2. Sorry updated Wrong Chap!

'_Fuck Fuck Fuck!'_ Olivia paced anxiously on the sidewalk oblivious to the officers and sirens. She didn't hear them discussing the "missing ADA" or the "bad press," all she could see was the look in Alex's eyes as she was dragged towards the car. A sharp southern drawl broke her trance,

"What type of car didja say it was again?" Olivia had her hand on her gun before she realized that shooting this imbecile wouldn't get her back, and would in fact stop her from finding Alex.

"1995 beige Camry, New York license plate-uh- there was a 3 and an A…Look," she shouted incensed, "I don't understand why you are making me jump through these fucking hoops. I saw who took her! Matthew Rasmussen!" Running her hands through her hair she began to pace again, like she had been doing for the last 2 hours.

"Liv!" Olivia's head shot up at the familiar voice,

"Elliot, Rasmussen took Alex." The words tumbled out of her mouth haphazardly, and Olivia silently cursed her lack of control. Elliot wisely stopped a few feet away from the ticking time bomb that was Detective Benson,

"I heard. She will be alright; she's the ice queen. She's tough." The statement was said so confidently that Olivia was reminded of why she kept him around. She did, however, have to bite back a retort at the line "ice queen." She realized that the rest of the squad had not been allowed to see into the world behind the sheet of ice. Olivia's mind flickered to her first glimpses at the woman behind the façade: the look in her eyes after Sam tried to kill himself, her determination to fight the competence of the girl with down syndrome even at the expense of her case, the guilt of having to put away Cheryl-there was so much more to the blond socialite.

She was haunted by flashes of Alex: a small smile, a fleeting moment where their eyes would lock, Alex leaning against a desk at the precinct and the tantalizing expanse of thigh that would be revealed as the skirt would ride up. Her piercing blue eyes that teased and challenged her. The hollow of Alex's throat at her collarbone which enthralled her eyes when she was angry. They were snapshots of what she had been lusting after for so long, only to realize it was more than lust. She wanted more than her body, and the thought scared her; but not as much as the notion that she would never again see her alive .

Olivia scanned the scene and let out a growl of revulsion; _'Alex's life is in the hands of these dense dim-witted dumbbells?' _Olivia shook her head and walked away from the scene. She didn't even bother to say goodbye to Elliot. She was headed to Alex's office; it wasn't safe to go to the precinct. Olivia wasn't sure she could stomach anymore sympathy or support. The walk to Alex's office past in a blur and she soon found herself sitting in her chair. Looking at the flood of papers she felt a surge of respect for the councilor. It was easy to forget how much she meant to the whole crew. Olivia didn't like the idea that she had to share her.

An open drawer caught her eye. Bending down, she peered in, _'Oh my god.' _Olivia's mind was racing a thousand explanations a minute, none of which could explain what this was doing in Alex's drawer. Olivia's dark eyes widened like saucers and her eyebrows rose into her hairline,

"I know where he's taken her…"


	3. Uh Oh

Alex's head throbbed and she wondered if the headache would ever go away. Her hands were numb behind her back from lying on them after being tipped over. Blinking rapidly she let out a sigh, _'One would think that they wouldn't be bored when abducted.' _Her facetious tone did little to lift the ominous atmosphere.

She wondered what Olivia was doing at that moment. Did she go back to her office, and if so did she look in the bottom drawer? Alex had realized a few minutes after awaking the second time where she was. Although she would have some questions to answer, what lay in her drawer would lead Liv right to her. Alex felt a something trickle down the side of her head. Crossing her eyes she could see the unmistakable colour of blood. _'Great a head injury, could this night get any worse?' _

As if in answer to her question the one door leading into her prison opened. Matt strolled lazily back in, appearing in no hurry to do whatever it is he had planned. Alex found herself even more disconcerted by his nonchalance. 'The board is set. The pieces are moving.'

Alex was tempted to laugh as she silently quoted "Lord of the Rings." She had watched the movies with Liv during her suspension. Liv had taken the day off to cheer her up and her idea for doing so was watching all three movies in a row. Alex was up for it until she found out that all three extended editions in a row totaled over 13 hours. In the end she had a lot of fun. Joking around and munching on junk food with Olivia all day was the most enjoyment she remembered having in ages. She especially liked the proximity they were forced to adhere to on the small couch in Olivia's apartment. Their bodies would 'accidentally' collide as one adjusted themselves. Lost in her remembrance she didn't notice the smile that kissed her face.

She did notice, however, her chair being shot back up in an upright position. The tingling that returned to her hands was piercing.

"Whatcha smilin' at Cabot?" She found herself staring into cold grey eyes mere inches from her own azure ones. She evaded the gag that threatened to rise at the rancid smell of his breath. He smelt of liquor, smoke and…rotting flesh? The second time she couldn't stop herself from dry heaving, bitterly realizing she had nothing but a glass of whisky to throw up.

In a flash a needle was put into her arm and she felt the sting of the point as it sunk greedily into her pale skin. Some clear liquid was promptly injected and just as quickly as it had appeared, it was gone. Alex wondered at first what it did, until she felt her vision start to swim. She heard Matt laugh but it seemed far away and muffled; he was untying her and she felt like screaming in joy only to find she no longer had control of any of her muscles. She could feel herself being picked up out of the chair and cradled in his arms. Despite his harsh disregard for her health previously, he carried her gently over to the stripped mattress. He lowered her ceremoniously down onto it's worn springs and Alex's mind started to scream,

_'No…no…no…no…please…no.' _She was disgusted at her own weakness and glad that she couldn't speak. She wouldn't want him to hear her helpless; not that he wasn't aware of the power he currently wielded over her.

Calloused hands ran hungrily over her filthy clothes, starting with her hair, crusted with blood down the expanse of her thighs. Alex felt sick; she was keenly aware of every disgusting sensation and yet oddly detached from it. A hand played with the hem of her skirt when she heard a savior's voice ring out through her terror,

"Get the hell away from her you bastard!" The voice was serious and laced with hate, although it hitched slightly as it saw Alex's state.

'Liv!' She screamed into her head wishing to be able to seek solace in the rich luminosity of her eyes, 'Liv god, Liv.' Her relief was short-lived as she felt herself wheeled around, used as a shield between Olivia and Matthew. The merciless barrel of a gun was once again placed underneath her defined jaw line. Matthew didn't seem very fazed by this new turn of events,

"Well Detective Benson you have ruined my fun, but I have something even better in mind now. Put down the gun." His patronizing tone sickened horrified her. Alex's eyesight was hazy but she was able to lock onto Olivia's face. Her face was determined but resigned and Alex yearned to cry out, 'No Liv please!' She felt her heart shatter as she heard the clang of the gun hitting the ground.


	4. Dig

Olivia watched in a terror she could not begin to describe as Matthew pulled Alex's limp form farther and farther from her grasp. With every inch in which they retreated, Olivia felt herself grow colder. As if Alex's proximity had been a warm blanket that had comforted her; and now she was left bare, a child without her nightlight…scared, alone and in a pall of darkness.

Matthew stopped moving and Olivia reluctantly broke eye contact to look up at him. _'He's smiling at me. That bastard is smiling at me.' _ The hand that wasn't holding the gun was tightly wrapped around Alex's waist apparently keeping her up. He loosened his grip for a moment and Alex's nearly flopped to the ground like a fish out of water. _'The bastard has drugged her…if I hadn't arrived when I did…'_ Olivia shook her head vigorously to stop the "what if" game and focus on the situation at hand. Matthew grinned sadistically,

"Tsk Tsk Tsk. Now I have to change my plans." Matthew paused and carelessly let go of Alex. Olivia ran forward in a futile attempt to catch her as she fell harshly, spread out on the stripped mattress. Olivia was halted as the gun found a new target, her. Olivia had stared down the barrel of many guns and this was a welcome relief to where it had previously been aiming. Olivia tried to focus on Matthew and not on Alex. Not on the fact that she wasn't moving, and that she couldn't tell if she was breathing. She glared at him, her ferocity unaffected by the cruel metal pointed at her head.

"I will leave you two lovebirds alone as I alter my preparations to accommodate this new development." For a split second Matthew changed, Olivia saw the lost man he was when she first met him. A grieving man having just lost the love of his life,

"I didn't want you included in this. You found the bastard who raped and murdered my wife; it was that bitch," he pointed in the direction of Alex, "Who let him off." Olivia jumped at the opportunity to reach out to this kinder side of him,

"What happened to your wife was horrible but what are you doing? When I arrived you were seconds away from raping her. You are becoming the very thing that took your wife away." Her voice was calm and soothing; she knew this part of the job like the back of her hand. The only problem was not everybody reacted to it the same way. Matthew paused and shook his head from side to side seemingly in the midst of an internal battle. Olivia wondered for a moment, who would win, when she got her answer,

"YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING SHRINK SO DON'T TRY AND GET IN MY HEAD!" Matthew pulled the trigger and a bulled whirled about 5 inches to the right of her head. _'Ok that didn't work.' _Letting out a sigh she decided that it might be best that she keep quiet. Matthew had calmed down and all signs of the grieving husband had evaporated, leaving only a vindictive man intent on revenge. He strode off and shut the door. Olivia could hear the muffled sound of a lock being put in place, followed by… _'A plank? Well forget the knock the door down idea.' _

She rushed over to Alex and put her head in her lap. Alex's face was incredibly pale and her forehead was feverish. Olivia pushed a few damp golden locks out of her eyes and tenderly stroked the side of her face. Alex wasn't moving and her breaths were shallow. Olivia was glad to find, however, that she was able to maintain eye contact. Alex's eyes blinked a few times and a lone tear rolled down her cheek. Olivia felt her world collapsing as she coddled her in her arms. She hesitantly placed a light kiss to the side of Alex's sweltering temple. Alex's eyes fluttered closed and Olivia felt her heart stop,

"Alex…Alex sweetie stay awake. Please love I don't know what he gave you, you must stay awake." Olivia lied through her teeth. She was pretty sure of what he had given her, being a cop she knew the symptoms. The fact remained, nonetheless, that she had to stay awake. Olivia didn't know how long she sat there stroking Alex's face, clutching to her thin body like a life preserve. She was sinking deeper in despair as she watched Alex courageously fight to stay awake. The fear in her eyes was palpable, but fear was good. As long as she was afraid she hadn't given up. Olivia dreaded the moment her blue eyes dimmed with resignation. That is when it would all be over. Olivia didn't hear Matthew return until she looked up at his looming form.

"Get up." Olivia hesitated only for a moment before carefully setting Alex down and standing up. Matthew handed her a shovel,

"You ready to dig?" Olivia looked down at the shovel in her hands wondering if Matthew was close enough to hit. Sensing her thoughts he took a step back; Olivia looked up apprehensively,

"You are going to kill us, bury us, and you want me to dig our graves?" She didn't even try to keep the mocking tone out of her voice.

"I am not going to kill Cabot. You are going to dig her grave and she can be put in the earth with my wife…very much alive." Olivia shivered at his gleeful tone. "It is quite wonderful in fact. She is half dead anyway…but she will be completely aware of every second of her burial. Of every clump of dirt that hits her coffin, as her love buries her alive." Olivia shook her head,

"Go to hell. I won't do it." Matthew sighed and aimed the gun at Alex,

"Very well." Olivia looked back at Alex's limp form, and knew she had entered the deepest realm of hell. Her worst nightmare, she was going to play a hand the death of her love.

"Fine." _'God Alex I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I am not strong enough. I can't watch him kill you. Sorry. '_


	5. The Cemetary

Alex wished she could talk to Olivia; she wanted to say so much. She wanted to tell her that she didn't blame her. She wanted to say that she had fallen madly in love with her and had been hopelessly so for ages. She didn't want to die. She wasn't ready to die.

Alex could feel Olivia pick her up and cradle her like she would easily snap in two. With whatever drug she had been given, Alex wasn't sure that Olivia was exaggerating. She took comfort as her head lolled in the nook of Olivia's neck. She could smell Olivia: sweat, peppermint and something that was indescribably Liv. She found it funny that without any control of her muscles and her clouded brain she had heightened senses. She could feel every part of her skin that touched Liv; she could smell every intoxicating aspect of her scent. As Matthew and Olivia climbed the stairs, Alex's head rolled down into Olivia's chest. Alex was glad for the first time that she was incapacitated there was no force on earth that would have kept the blush and smirk off of her face. She relished the soft fullness before she was readjusted at the top of the steps.

Alex could see only a sliver of her surroundings from where her head lay. It was dark. This shocked her; it was hard to believe that so much had occurred in a few short hours. They were walking down an abandoned alley, then another abandoned alley. By the third nondescript alley Alex zoned out in her thoughts and the feeling of being cradled. She didn't notice when they had stopped walking. She did notice, however, that they were in a graveyard. 'Gloomy. At least we have proper weather for my death. Why did I put up with these cases and these lunatics?' Alex felt herself being lowered gently to the ground. She looked up and locked on two tear-filled chocolate eyes. 'Oh yeah. For her.'

Alex warily watched Olivia as she dug. Out of context it was a fabulous site to behold. Liv had taken off her coat and was now in jeans and a tight white tank, both of which were smudged in dirt. Alex thought she never looked more stunning. She was so wrapped up in the image she momentarily forgot she was watching the digging of her own grave.

Matthew was watching from a few feet away, his gun relentlessly pointed at Liv's skull. Alex began to miss all the actions she took for granted: an exasperated sigh, a smirk, an eyebrow raise, a look of indignation, all common aspects of her persona, all of which were stripped of her. As if in answer to her prayer something incredible happened. Her fingers moved. It was barely detectable; Alex tried again….success. She could now wiggle the fingers on her right hand. How this helped her she didn't know. Maybe by the time Matthew was ready to bury her she would be able to pinch him. The desire to laugh was intense but nothing came out but the same ragged exhale.

A few minutes later and Olivia had dug three feet deep. Alex was now able to wiggle her right wrist, her left foot and control her breaths a tad. Groaning in frustration she eyed Matthew as he paced beside the open grave. If only he would come close enough….maybe she could 'who am I kidding I am more drugged up than Courtney Love on a bad day?' Alex looked up and silently mourned the clouded sky. She wished she could see the stars. One of the downsides of the city; Alex loved the city, the professionalism the atmosphere. But the stars, she missed the stars.

Suddenly the sound of the shovel stopped. Alex averted her eyes to the grave; she saw Olivia hesitantly climb out of the grave. She was dirty and tired but beautiful, always beautiful.

"Finish…ed." Olivia's voice broke and Alex internally winced at the tone of her voice, at the helplessness so thick it was palpable. Matthew turned towards her and grinned. The grin reminded her of the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. A fanatical grin of a bi-polar creature… first leading you to safety, only to push you even deeper into the rabbit hole. Matthew slowly approached her and kneeled down to look Alex in the eyes.

"This is for you Grace." Alex was frightened to see the hollow look in his eyes as he spoke to his dead wife. Alex knew this was her last shot. She had to do something; drawing every ounce of strength she possessed she shot her fist between his legs. A howl of pain gave her a mind-boggling amount of satisfaction. This pleasure was short lived, however, when a hand grabbed her roughly around her throat. Alex found that her energy was completely drained from her outburst. She was powerless, forced to lie motionless as she was choked to death. Her eyes began to cloud when the hands abruptly loosened. Matthew fell to the ground and Alex looked up the tan lean legs of her savior, "L...i…v." The last thing she saw was Olivia standing above her still holding her shovel now caked with Matthew's blood.


	6. What now?

Olivia ran her hands through her hair; it was over. She scanned the graveyard: cops, paramedics, reporters…and Alex. Olivia didn't even argue when Cragen ordered for her to take the day off. Alex. She was currently being tended to by a paramedic. She had gained full use of her muscles again, and aside from her scrapes and the gash on her forehead she would be just fine. At least physically, she still looked so vulnerable, sitting in the back of the ambulance, shaking (after effect of the drug) and engulfed in a large wool blanket. Her blond locks were wild, she was beautiful. Olivia had to smile at the cross look on Alex's face as she was babied by the paramedic. 

Their eyes locked and the rest of the world melted away. No more graveyards, no one, nothing but blue meeting brown. Olivia could feel the intensity she could almost taste the sexual undertones. Hesitantly she approached her, hands in her pockets. Alex didn't even break eye contact when a needle was shoved into her arm, she didn't react. Alex offered her a small smile,

"My savior." Olivia ducked her head and tried not to blush.

"Damn reporters and their dramatics." Olivia overheard the reporters dubbing her a savior and despised the word. She was no savior. If she had only done something sooner… if she had only stopped Matthew from taking her…

"Hey stop." Olivia looked up at Alex's soft expression, "I won't have you blaming yourself for this. This is his fault and his alone. Thanks to you I am safe, and he is in a coma." Her smile was so bright and her words so comforting that Olivia tried to wrap herself in them like the blanket on Alex's shoulders. Alex took Liv by surprise by grabbing her hand. The touch was electric. And it took all of Olivia's honed detective skills to stop the shudder that she could feel down her spine. Her hand was warm, such a small expanse of skin. Olivia wondered what it would feel like to have more contact, the heated touch of flesh on flesh.

"Liv?" Olivia looked at Alex again and found not a lawyer, not a friend, but a woman. A woman with an unmistakable look in her eyes…lust and determination. All of her previous exhaustion was replaced with primal hunger. Olivia could not stop the shudder this time as she heard Alex's voice suddenly an octave lower, "Take me home."


	7. Finale

Alex waited anxiously for Liv to answer, 'What possessed me? Did I just proposition Detective Olivia Benson? Alex was, however, proud that she hadn't relinquished her hold on Liv's hand; it felt too good. Here she was stripped bare: no more barriers, or Ice…just Alex. Olivia stood still for a moment before answering,

"Sure." Such a short vague response but Alex's heard soared nonetheless. They walked slowly to the street; Alex led Liv like a stray, holding her hand all the while. After hailing down a taxi, they sat in silence. 

The sexual tension in the back of the cab was so thick; you couldn't cut it with a chainsaw. They sat on opposite sides, their hands clasped in the middle. Olivia picked up their joined hands and began to leisurely massage the back of Alex's palm with her free hand. Small circles began to ease the tightness all her paperwork had caused. Alex smirked inside, 'Not the type of tightness I had wanted relieved…'

Both of their eyes were fixated on their hands, watching the connection in a state of awe. Alex couldn't stop a small whimper from escaping her lips as Liv kneaded a particularly sore muscle. Olivia's eyes shot up and met her own. Time seemed to stand still, Olivia's hands had stopped. Alex watched as Olivia's eyes fell down from her eyes to her lips. Slowly they came together in a soft kiss. It was gentle, testing the waters if you will. Alex had gone through too much in the last twenty four hours to let that continue for long. She ran both hands through Liv's caramel locks and pulled her into the kiss. Olivia, apparently, didn't need much prodding. Soon Alex was on her back with two tongues fighting for supremacy within her mouth. Not that she minded. There was a frenzy of hands gliding over as much skin as possible, afraid that the other would disappear.

"Ahem. We're here," Their heads shot towards the front and found a middle aged man smiling at them, "Not that I wasn't tempted to just let you two keep going…but I, unfortunately, have to make a living." His smile was warm, not sleazy. The two of them tried to shoot up and out of the cab only to realize that they somehow, during their excursion, had ended up in the same seatbelt. They walked up to Alex's apartment, buzzing with the aftershocks of the ride. Alex swore it was the longest elevator ride of her life. She kept glancing at Liv and every time she did, she was met by dark orbs almost black with desire. Alex walked up to her apartment door and slipped the key into the lock. She could feel Liv standing just a few inches behind her. She could even feel her hot breath tickling the back of her neck.

No sooner had she opened the door, she found herself against it. As her own body was used to shut it, she felt Olivia's hands slipping under her over jacket. As soon as it was gone, so was her silk blouse. Alex was determined to shed some clothes as well she swiftly disposed of Liv's tank top. Liv's mouth was on Alex's neck tenderly nipping the hollow of her throat.

Alex felt as if she was on fire, she had never felt so consumed by passion before. Although she had never been kissed like this before either. Olivia's kisses were hard but loving, deep but primal. Then there was the matter of her hands. One of which was currently stroking her thigh just underneath the hem line of her skirt. Alex's head fell back against the oak door as she felt weak. All of Alex's articulacy was replaced by moans and whimpers. As she felt nimble fingers on the zipper of her skirt she decided to turn the tables.

She pushed the hands away and practically tackled Olivia to the floor. They roughly fell onto the wooden floor and Olivia's shocked expression was quickly replaced as Alex's hands slipped beneath the border of her jeans. Quickly slipping them off, Alex took a moment to revel in their length and strength. Soon her thoughts were substituted with something even more stimulating, 'Black lace?'

Letting out a purr she reached for the clasp of Liv's bra, unhooking it with ease. Olivia's hands came to life once again and reached for her own bra only to be halted by Alex. Grabbing hold of each of Olivia's wrists she slammed them on either side of her head. Alex leisurely kissed Liv, delving as deep into her soul as she could. Alex was now straddling her, and while she knew Liv could easily break free she was pleased to see her submissive for once.

"Tsk Tsk, you'll have your turn." The words came out in a voice so low, so primal Alex hardly recognized it as hers. Olivia raised her eyebrows but did not object as Alex began to trail kisses down her neck: drifting slowly down the valley of her breasts, leaving biting down on her scalding flesh as she went. Her tongue took hold of one of Liv's breasts as she latched on like a ravenous infant. She made sure she gave each breast equal attention. She had dreamed of them: perfect fruits of a goddess… with hardened pink apple blossoms as peaks. All of Olivia tasted incredible. Her skin was silk, and tasted of peppermint, sweat and…Liv. All of her senses were consumed by this woman. As her tongue reached Liv's inner thigh, Liv's hips bucked up in response. 

Alex had long wondered what it would be like to really taste her. She had tasted her mouth; her skin…the only thing that remained was Liv. She wanted to taste her…unaltered and pure. Deftly she slid the lace down the long expanse of her legs. As she came up once more she settled in between Liv's legs. The first taste was heaven. Better than anything she that had ever previously touched her taste buds. Olivia was already do wet, Alex felt as if she was drowning in her nectar. Sweet and tangy…and Liv. Olivia buckled and moaned deep within her throat,

"Aaa…lll…eee…xx." The jolt that shot down her spine was intense. The strokes of Alex's tongue sped up in response, devouring her. Olivia's hands were tangled in her hair, guiding her in her expedition. Olivia was trembling and Alex's concentration was hindered by the inhumanly miraculous sounds reverberating from Olivia's throat. "A…l…e…x, please." Alex could feel how close Liv was in the marrow of her bones. She was tittering on the edge; Alex had to decide whether to appease her or keep teasing her. The last moan answered her question for her as she greedily licked her lips and slid a finger in. It only took a minute before Alex slipped in a second finger. That was the final straw. Liv began to rock in waves of ecstasy as she came. 

Alex sat back and proudly licked her fingers, observing her work while doing so. When Olivia finally came down she sat up. Olivia looked at Alex, and there was now no way to distinguish her pupils from the dark recesses of her eyes.

"My turn." Liv swooped over and picked Alex up like a hawk capturing its prey. Indeed Liv soon captured Alex's lips as she mumbled into her mouth, "Bedroom?" Alex could only point to the right as Liv bit her neck possessively. Once arriving to the bed Liv placed Alex down and straddled her legs. Alex felt hands once again reach the zipper of her skirt, but this time they were pulled away by teeth. Alex cried as Liv's teeth scraped down her legs, removing the skirt. While Liv was low and moaning, Alex was a screamer…and she knew it.

Olivia sat up straight for a moment as her eyes zeroed in on something glittering on Alex's flat stomach,

"You have your belly pierced?" Alex swallowed and opened her mouth a few times attempting to scrounge enough eloquence to utter a complete sentence.

"Teenage rebellion." 'Not quite a full sentence but at least my voice didn't crack.' Live, apparently, wasn't finished just yet,

"Stealing whisky and a navel ring? Why Miss Cabot…" Alex whined at the loss of contact,

"I also fuck women, I know, not very proper. These days it seems it is very hard to 'be fucked' however…" Alex smirked as Liv's eyes stormed in thralls of lust once again. Her smirk didn't last long as Liv started once again. Even more ardent this time, as if she was trying to fuck her brains out. 'At least I'll die happy.'

Her bra was soon gone replaced by two eager hands….and one divine mouth. Alex began to quiver, although not from cold, she was immolated in her passion. Hands were everywhere, tongue, lips, it was overwhelming and yet not enough. Alex's hips bucked as she felt Olivia's hands settle between her thighs. Olivia, thank god, was not as cruel and Alex soon felt Liv enter her. She became a puddle, and yet she was tense. The strokes were slow and meticulous, maximizing her pleasure but keeping her from going over the edge. 

"LLLIIIIIVVVV!" Alex was so close she could feel herself beginning to fall only to be pulled back. Her head was against the mattress, hair sprayed haphazardly across the dark silk. She couldn't see Liv but could clearly picture the lopsided smile she was now sporting. Alex's hands clutched the sheets in frustration as she teetered on the brink. Just when she thought she was in the most excruciating pleasure possible, Liv's fingers began to curl. The scream that erupted from Alex's lips shook the apartment and left her voice rough. She began to tremble and shake as she came. Liv scooted up and kissed Alex lovingly on the temple, easing her through. Olivia took Alex into her arms and they lay together. Alex rested her head on Liv's chest and put one leg between Liv's. They curled and sank into the deep sleep that can only follow mind-blowing sex.

Alex felt the light of the sun on her face as she slowly came to. She didn't want to get up; her pillow was so comfortable…and beating. Alex's eyes opened and she looked up into the face that had been the object of her thoughts for so long. She looked so peaceful, untainted by the horrors she saw everyday. Olivia opened her eyes, as if sensing her, 'Damn detective instincts.' 

"Good morning." Alex snuggled deeper into Liv and took solace as Liv's arms tightened around her in response. 'Why do I face the bad guys? Why do I spend hours working on cases: neglect my health by skipping meals and working all night? Why do I allow myself to be kidnapped and go back to work the next day? For her. Always for her.'


End file.
